Five Things Bad Relationships Teach You.
Some people believe that everything happens for a reason. Some even believe that every person that comes into our lives can teach us something if we only choose to pay attention. When you have had a bad relationship the silver lining is the lesson you learn from it. So how could this help with future relationships?
Peace- When things are not peaceful in a romantic relationship that you are in, all the time spent in the relationship is a waste of your personal enjoyment that could be in your life. We only have one life and when one year soon becomes five and then more, it is a lot of time spent unhappy with someone. It may have its good moments but lack of respect, loyalty, trust and more are chipping away at your happiness then know there is peace somewhere else. There is love and happiness somewhere else and you can have those things without letting go happiness or peace in your world.
Loving Yourself- You set the value of how you should be treated and what you will accept in a relationship. When you do not fight for yourself, it tell other people that they can do as they please. Despite the wonderful good there is in this world, people will walk all over you if you let them and that is a truth some often forget. Love yourself enough to protect yourself from these situations. Demand respect and love and loyalty. Demand to be treated in a way that you and every other human being on this planet has the right to be Demand respect, loyalty, honesty, and healthy communication. It is your life and your choice and you can have that all if you love yourself enough to demand it.
Do Not Settle- It is more than alright to grow and change with relationships and throughout your life. There is a difference though in changing to grow and letting your values and morel foundation be silenced by a relationship for the sake of whatever needs you are getting out of the relationship. There are things that should never be let go of such as striving to be a better you and maintaining healthy relationships. Other people can hold us back or distract us from what we really need in our lives. We need to safeguard these things and let no one take them away from us. In the end the decision is yours to make.
Forgiveness- It can be hard to do when all you feel is the pain of what you’re going through. People need to remember that forgiveness is not always about the person who does you wrong. It can also be a gift to those who have been wronged. Forgiveness allows you to make peace with being wronged and allowing it pass as a moment in your life and not be all that is your life. We are shaped by pain but let us not be solely defined by it. Forgiveness is our freedom from the constant why people seem to ask themselves. Why did they do this? Why did they treat me this way? In the end that really never matters, what matters is you did not have to tolerate it. Forgiveness is one step closer to moving toward happiness. When you are only focused on the one pain you can never see the multiple good that might enter your life or could already be there. You could miss out so many wonderful things, wonderful people, and future wonderful memories. You do not always have to view forgiveness as a gift only to the person who hurt you because it is also a gift to you.
The signs- When coming out of a relationship that involved some of the behaviors mentioned in this article. Lack of respect for your opinion, space and body. Lack of compassion and understanding and lack of listening. They are all signs. They may be small in the beginning of the relationship but if the person thinks that behavior is acceptable then they will later. Name calling and other forms of abuse, lack of support. Unwillingness to be in the spouses shoes, manipulation. Watch out for put downs, watch out for snide remarks and over controlling demands. Stay away from any spouse who would put your needs below their own. It is easier to show what you will not put up with in the beginning. Remember to return the same level of maturity toward your partner that you want from them and if you are in anyway unable to give this level of respect and careful treatment or receiving it, then it is probably best to remove yourself from the relationship.
By Eva Johnson